The Iyers: Traveling the Multigenerational Way

The Iyers have always been very close as a family. Rama, an entrepreneur, and Raijini, an obstetrician, raised their two daughters, Arti and Aparna, in Anaheim Hills, California. But the girls grew up and went off to college, and so the Iyers decided to leave the empty nest. The couple organized their schedules so that they could travel and see the world.

When their daughters settled and started their careers and their families in Texas – Arti, a radiologist, in Bellaire, and Aparna, a psychiatrist, in Dallas – things began to get complicated. 

Rama and Raijini would come to Texas for two weeks at a time – a week with each of their daughters’ families – and then would return to California. Finally they decided to move to Dallas to be closer to their kids, and they continued to travel. “But we missed our grandkids,” said Rama. “And so I began to think, what if we were to combine both, how would it be?”

The idea made sense on lots of levels, said Rama. “There's not a natural means for us to get together as a family. Even though both of my daughters are in Texas, they are 4-5 hours apart in a car. So it’s hard to coordinate and have us all get together.”

THE JONNAS Karthik, Kasen, Arti, and Ahayli Jonna on the beach. (Photo: Kim Ebert Photography)

Typically when they do get together, it’s just for a weekend, and it goes by so fast. 

“The kids are getting along very well together,” added Rama. “When they go off to college, they’ll be all scattered, so why not give them a chance to know what the others are like while they’re still young?”

So he started talking with his daughters and they liked the idea, too, but it was hard to coordinate, with five children and six adults in the family. Five of them are busy physicians – Rama is the only adult who is not a doctor. 

Their first multigenerational trip was in 2016, when Arti was pregnant with her first child. Rama and Raijini were planning a trip to Iceland at the time, and Rama got the idea to invite the others to join him. That time, Arti and her husband Karthik and his parents were able to come.

“That's when I realized this could be really fun,” recalls Rama. So he decided to make the selection of the destinations and planning of the itinerary an educational experience for the kids. They start the process a year in advance, and Rama makes a spreadsheet, where he compiles the kids’ findings. At this stage, the three eldest cousins are doing most of the planning. Aparna’s eldest, Roshan, 10, takes the lead, along with his sister Avani, who like Ahayli is 8. And Ahayli pitches in from a distance.

The most important criteria at this stage, according to Ahayli – a winsome child with a clear and eloquent presentation – was that the destination had to be kid-friendly. 

Ahayli, Arti, Kasen and Karthik preparing for their first helicopter ride above Oahu.

“Adults would be allowed to come, but only if they behave,” Ahayli clarified. Her grandfather, seated at her side, grinned and beamed in pride as Ahayli went on. 

“The flight couldn’t be too long. The beaches need to be pretty. Ummm…” 

Rama jumped in. “I think it needs to be an all-inclusive, at that point, right?”

“Right, all-inclusive. And the weather needs to be nice.”

Since then, the family has taken three multi-generational trips with everyone together, and they’re now planning their fourth one. 

So in 2019, the children were big enough to travel, and it was their first trip all together as a family. The destination: Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. 

Avani, Roshan, Karthik, Ahayli, Thea, Rama, Kasen, Arjun, Aparna, Arti, Raijini (pictured, from left) keeping themselves busy while waiting for the train at the Dole Plantation.

Covid put a stop to their plans for a while, but not for long. In 2021 they went on a Disney Cruise. And in the spring of 2022, they all went to Disney World.  

Perhaps the most adventurous trip to date was their trip this summer to Hawaii. Like many Californians, Arti and Aparna had grown up vacationing with their parents in Hawaii, and had many happy memories of the islands. Their husbands and their children had never been there, so they wanted to share the experience with their families.

Aparna and Roshan did most of the itinerary planning for this trip. 

“We used to do these ‘plan chats’ every so often and kind of go over what we wanted to do together, what we didn't want to do, like which kids were old enough to do what,” recalled Arti. This time, they would be staying on the island of Oahu the whole week with an Airbnb on the northern side of Oahu as their home base.

They planned to hit the ground running the morning after arriving in Honolulu, with a 6 a.m. hike up Diamond Head volcano. But sadly, Southwest Airlines canceled their Saturday flight and they weren’t able to fly out until Sunday, missing much of their Sunday itinerary.

“It was so sad because especially my daughter really wanted to go because her older two cousins were going. And she's also at the age now where she is starting to really be interested in not just going to those all-inclusives with a pool; she wants to actually experience the place, see some of the history.”

But they did get there in time to catch their tour of the Dole Plantation, riding on the Pineapple Express and enjoying a Dole Whip cone. Though that wasn’t their favorite part; really the most exciting adventure for Arti and her family was the helicopter tour, where they got to look down into the vast crater of Diamond Head and see the people hiking up, as they would have been doing had their flight not been canceled. 

The strong bond of cousins; pictured, from left: Ahayli, Thea, Roshan, Avani, Kasen. (Photo: Kim Ebert Photography)

Other favorite memories were swimming at Shark’s Cove; snorkeling at Hanauma Bay; then there was the exhilarating hike to Waimea Falls, where they dove in and swam under the waterfalls themselves. They went to Lanikai Beach to watch the turtles, and only saw big black crabs climbing all over the rocks – which they also loved, but they learned that the turtles only come out in the evening. So they came back at sunset and sure enough: 

“These turtles just come out of nowhere,” said Arti. “And they had people there to protect the turtles. They know the turtles are going to come, so they block it off so nobody touches them. But they are absolutely huge. And they just park themselves there, which is really neat.”

But as fun as all the outings were, Arti says, for her the best parts were just staying at home in their VRBO and sharing time together – something that is rare back in Texas. 

“Yeah, we had a great time. I mean, we never really do anything together other than some holidays, but it's not the same,” said Arti. “We all cook together, like one person is cutting, one person is cooking, my brother-in-law is barbecuing outside... we're all doing something. And those are the really fun parts, you know?”

It was all over much too soon, and they were on their way home with suitcases full of memories. So Hawaii was close to their hearts when, a few days after their return, they learned of the Maui fire; they had visited the island as children and treasured their memories of a Maui untouched by the recent catastrophe, and they were devastated. Arti said it’s important to support the recovery of Maui by pitching in on the fundraiser of their choice and to continue traveling there. 

The kids having fun in the water during the family photo session; pictured, from left: Roshan, Ahayli, Avani, Thea, Kasen. (Photo: Kim Ebert Photography)

“We encourage people to continue going to Hawaii,” she said. “Some of those families had homes burned down but work elsewhere and their businesses are still open, so they need to be working.” 

Now, however, they’ve begun the destination selection for the 2024 multigenerational vacation: Puerto Rico or maybe Turks and Caicos. Rama wants to introduce the children to Latin America, maybe beginning with a trip to Mexico, so they can get to know the cultures and practice their Spanish.

Ahayli has been practicing Spanish with her nanny, a Salvadoran woman named Irma – she’s already learned a few words, “and it feels kind of good,” she said.

Arti reflected on the importance of these trips for the family, now that they’ve begun them. 

“The reason we even started doing this in the first place was, you know, my parents don't really ask for anything. But this is the one thing that is really important to them. And so it's also honoring their wishes to have the family all be together … even though we're all physicians, so, you know, we're all very busy, and the kids are in school – to take that moment to really stop and appreciate the bond that we all have, how we all grew up together, how these times for us to be family are most important.”

The extended Iyer family has grown closer through taking multi-generational trips together. Clockwise, from left: Raijini and Rama Iyer, Karthik, Arti, Ahayli, and Kasen Jonna. (Photo: lawellphoto.com)

How to Help Maui

The recent Maui wildfire, one of the worst in US history, took at least 115 lives and left thousands displaced. Tourism to the west end of the island was halted until early October with an estimated loss of $11 million per day; recently authorities put out a call to the world to come back and enjoy their island while helping to rebuild. 

National Geographic recommends donating to organizations like the Hawaii Community Foundation’s Maui Strong fund or the Maui Food Bank, and if you actually go, to buy local to the extent possible – patronizing local businesses instead of national or international chains – and perhaps even volunteering while on vacation.

Tips from our Travelers

Worth the splurge: Helicopter ride!

Don’t miss: A luau. We did the Toa Luau in Waimea. While it’s a little touristy, the food was great and the dances and fire show kept the kids thoroughly entertained!

Favorite restaurants: Ted’s Bakery, Matsumoto Shave Ice 

What to pack: Sunblock, hats, snorkel gear, water shoes. Don’t bring cold-weather clothes; you won't need them!

How to prepare: Don’t forget to book excursions/activities ahead of time as many get sold out in advance.

Safety tip: Do not walk alone at night! The highways are single lanes with curves and not a lot of lighting. Otherwise, very safe.

Not really worth the trouble: Dole Pineapple Factory – there is a lot of hype and the Dole Whip can be purchased in many other places (like Disney World!). The train ride always has a long hour-plus wait.

Unexpected hit: Family photos! We had a photographer right at sunset when it was dinner time for the kiddos, but they all enjoyed playing in the sand and the water while taking pictures.