It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. Your precious daughter has a sparkler on her finger to match the glow in her eyes. You share a moment of long-anticipated bliss. Then, panic sets in. Congratulations. You are now pronounced the mother-of-the-bride.
From frazzled to dazzled
One of the first things to determine is a budget. Here comes the father-of-the-bride. Be gentle to this poor man. He doesn’t know yet that the dance band costs what he was planning to spend on the whole wedding.
Now for the advice that you will get from absolutely every wedding coordinator on the planet: Hire a wedding coordinator.
To give you a small idea why, here’s a mere fraction of the items in the emergency case wedding coordinator Angela Nix brings to every wedding: Ace Bandages, BAND-AIDS, Q-Tips, Visine (did you know Visine can reduce pimple redness?), cough drops, antacids, peroxide (for blood stains), spot remover, club soda, Tampons, Laura Mercier make-up remover for stains, contact lens solution, Benadryl and the latest item, diapers.
Tanya’s ring bearer’s pillow was crocheted by her grandmother. (Photo: Michael Carr Photography)
Is this a wedding or a war zone? Actually, Angela says allowing plenty of lead time to plan can make a wedding less of a battle.
“I ideally like to be called 9 months to a year in advance,” says Angela. “I’ve done weddings in, say 3 months. But that means you’re making a major decision every day until the event. It can be done. It’s just not as relaxed.”
Angela’s clients, Bellaire newlyweds Tanya and Eddie Wilkinson, are still basking in the glow of their New Year’s Eve wedding in their home town, Victoria, Texas, a week after its first-ever white Christmas.
“We had a 22-page itinerary. Everyone in the wedding party had a schedule. No one had a doubt about where they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to do,” said Tanya.
Tanya & Eddie Wilkinson (Photo: Michael Carr Photography)
Tanya said knowing someone was on top of the planning while she and Eddie were in law school made it easier to focus on studies. Plus, it gave them the ability to pull off a lot of details that they could not have done alone.
“Since the wedding was on New Year’s Eve we wanted to have that element in the reception, while still keeping it a wedding reception,” said Tanya.
The reception was held at the local Victoria Country Club. The 1960’s furniture was removed and the entire venue was completely transformed into what appeared to the locals as a new venue. A large bowl-shaped ice-sculpture, resembling the top of a champagne glass was filled with champagne bottles chilled with round bubble effect ice. A tiered chocolate fountain invited guests to dip strawberries. As the bride and groom left, they were sprayed with twist loaded confetti that Angela found.
But Tanya says one unexpected benefit she received from her wedding planner was the ease of knowing that Angela was keeping her etiquette in check.
“Weddings are about relationships. You need to make everyone involved feel as welcome as possible. If out-of-town guests are coming to a hotel, some people leave a gift basket for their room. Others just leave a polite message on their phone saying how thrilled they are to have you here. If they are not invited to the rehearsal dinner, you can provide a list of recommended restaurants and a map,” said Angela.
Getting over sticker shock
One very good starting place before dreams become too set in stone is to sit down at the computer (you won’t be able to take this standing up) and get over some sticker-shock issues. “Live bands who sound reasonably close to the original artists run in the $4,000 - $5,000 range,” said Angela.
For some brides, the dress is absolutely the most important thing. A Lissette Lux Haute, one of a kind couture dress with imported fabrics made to enhance all your best features and disguise the rest starts at $3,000. She would like 6 months to make the dress.
One expense that is often unanticipated is the photographer. “People think, it’s just pictures, how could that be a big deal? But after the wedding the dress is boxed and the party is over, all that’s left are the pictures,” said photographer Michael Carr, Tanya’s wedding photographer. (Hopefully, the groom is still around as well).
Jessica and Andrew Evans
Wedding coordinator Bobbi Asarch recommends portraits done ahead of the wedding to all her brides. “It’s kind of like a dress rehearsal for the day. You find out how the hair works with the head piece, work out the make up, etc. It’s also a great time to test the flowers. I have a prototype of the bouquet made for the pictures to make sure there are no surprises,” said Bobbi.
The new trend in wedding photography is photojournalism. “Photojournalism is very, very hot. Black and white images are not photojournalism. An unobtrusive style, undirected, un-posed, unique angles, creative use of light is more what it’s about. Today’s bride is looking for something seen in modern bride,” said Michael.
Photographer Evin Thayer says technology has brought wedding photography to a whole new level. “You can have a compact disc with all the wedding day images set to music and a website specially created for the family and friends of the newly-married couple, to view the wedding day photographs and order their photographs online,” said Thayer.
Photographers range in price, like everything, from low-end to high-end, with low-end starting around $3,000, soaring up into the $10,000 range.
West University mother-of-the-bride, Retta Parker is enjoying the memory of youngest daughter Jessica Luskey’s wedding to Andrew Evans. The event took place in the rolling hills of the family farmhouse in Old Washington between Chapel Hill and Navasota April 16th, the peak of the wildflower blooming season.
“We were able to use a charming church 4 miles from the farm called Friedens Church. It is normally for members only. But someone was kind enough to sponsor us. We were very fortunate,” said Luskey. The church, which seats 300, was perfect for their 250 attendees. From there the wedding moved to the outdoor reception on the farm.
Jessica Evans with her father, Alan Luskey (Photo: Allan Boatright Photography)
Small weddings were a family tradition until Jessica came along. “Jessica is just one of those very social people who is really close to friends and family. She had 8 bridesmaids,” said Retta, who decided to pull the whole event off without a wedding planner, except for the day of the event.
“Just getting the farm ready was huge. We worked for months. But it’s now in great shape. We added permanent lighting in the back that is a nice permanent improvement,” said Retta. Vendors were brought in from everywhere. The band was from Austin, the caterer from Brenham and photographer, Allan Boatright, was from Houston.
Guests were drawn to the basketball court and pool area by strung lights and paper lanterns. Rolling hills and a lake provided a relaxing view as guests visited while the band played and the sun went down.
“We did make some mistakes,” said Retta. “I’m sure a wedding coordinator would have told us to pre-book hotels in Brenham for our guests. As it was, it was the peak of the wildflower season and the town was completely booked,” said Retta. Fortunately, the farm wasn’t a difficult drive back to Houston for most guests. “Also, we had tea lights around the spa we forgot to light and we forgot to give away the flowers on the tables,” said Retta. But Retta says the decision to go without a wedding planner was a philosophical one. “We are just not inclined to spend money on intangible things. We’d be more comfortable contributing to a down payment on a house. That’s tangible. But we realized that this (the large wedding) was important to Jessica and that she deserved it. She is a wonderful girl, a great student and she contributed in many ways to making her day happen,” said Retta.
Retta fully expects to enjoy the wedding day more fully through the pictures and the video in the comfort of her own home. One particularly poignant moment was when Jessica’s biological father, Alan Luskey, who has battled class C brain cancer for close to a decade, was able to walk her down the isle. Alan then asked Jessica’s stepfather, Dan, to stand on Jessica’s opposite side as the preacher asked, “Who gives this woman away?” “Her family does,” was Alan’s reply. Then each father kissed Jessica’s cheek. Dry eyes were not to be found.
