Family Road Trip

If you made a list of things that are hopelessly out of step with the realities of mid-2008, you might consider:

• A mullet and some parachute pants.
• A six-pack of Zima.
• A Tae Bo workout in your Enron T-shirt.
• Hitting the highway in a monstrous, gas-guzzling RV.

With gasoline hovering at $4 a gallon, the Hassell brain-trust naturally seized on this opportunity to take our very first RV trip. It’s something we’d talked about for several years. But for the life of me, I couldn’t understand the appeal.

But my wife would not be denied. When she lined up a free loaner from a family member, it was time to concede defeat, load up, and move out. My one victory was choosing a nearby destination, Galveston, so that our Chevron bill wouldn’t look like a mortgage payment.

Cheryl found more natural allies in our two kids. They loved the hulking tin can from the moment it chugged up in front of our house. They immediately scooped up games, books, and stuffed animals so they could occupy it like a high-tech tree house. If the RV had never left our street, they would have liked the vacation well enough.

RVs are full of secret compartments to stow stuff—and as my 8-year-old observed—who doesn’t love secret compartments? The couch turns into a bed, as does the kitchen table. And while you’re supposed to stay seated and buckled-in for the ride, has any kid really ever done that? I doubt it. Not when there‘s a big bed and a TV in the back.

Enormous for a vehicle, an RV actually is pretty dang cozy for a house. In our modern homes, we walk around without much thought about how the house actually functions. Stuff just works—until it doesn’t. And then we call a repairman.

All that changes the second you take up residence in an RV. You have to learn how to do everything, including flush the toilet with a foot pedal and power the a/c when the engine is turned off. If that sounds like a nuisance, my wife actually thinks it’s a cool bonus.

“The RV is a puzzle to solve. You have to learn how the plumbing works, the electrical, the propane, everything,” Cheryl said. “It was a complicated beast, but I tamed it.”

Notice the personal pronoun I. Not we. That’s because I never cracked the user’s manual. Cheryl did all the brainwork, as well as all the driving. My contribution was to keep quiet and provide labor.

Our campsite at Galveston Island State Park was about five yards from the dunes and about 25 yards from the surf. You could hear the waves inside the cabin. And sitting outside in a lawn chair, looking up at the stars for hours each night was something I had never done at a hotel or beach house. During those star gazes and the walks on the beach, my coffee cup still steaming in my hand, I became a reluctant convert.

So is an RV better than a beach house? “A beach house is expensive and it doesn’t move,” opined my 8-year-old girl, blissfully unaware of what an RV would cost if we had to buy one.

How about a fancy hotel? “In a RV you are closer to nature,” answered my 11-year-old son.

Not wanting to give up on that financial angle, his little sister piped up, “In a hotel, it’s pay, pay, pay. You pay for room service and everything. In a RV, all the food is free.”

There are some drawbacks, naturally. Like camping, your neighbors are part of your life, which can be good or bad, depending on your luck. Good neighbors pitch in to help with difficult tasks. Bad neighbors let their 300 or so children play a loud game of tag around your RV (and well away from their camp) at 7 am.

In a neighborly highlight, the owners of Mario’s Ristorante in Galveston happened to be camped next door. They were so happy to see us have four of their biggest pizzas delivered for our family and visiting friends, they treated us to some free pizza coupons.

Sitting in our lawn chairs, chewing pizza, enjoying an adult beverage, and watching a fiery sunset settle over the horizon, life was undeniably good. Even at $4 a gallon.

Editor’s Note: Greg Hassell is a contributing writer for The Buzz Magazines. If you have a new adventure for Greg to write about, please e-mail your suggestions to [email protected].