The Barber Bond

Bonds formed with our barbers can go far beyond a haircut. Trips to the barbershop are more than just a place where grown men with fading hairlines open newspapers to talk politics and NFL playoffs. Barbers are often among our longest and most trusted relationships. More than just someone who keeps us well-groomed, barbers become faithful confidants with whom we share intimate details on many topics. 

During my childhood years, regular buzzes were at my dad’s discretion. My opinion as to whether a haircut was needed was neither sought nor considered. That all changed as an adult with my standing appointment every Saturday morning since the mid-1980s with my barber, Jeanne Mar. The time spent together has cemented ours as an enduring friendship. As my hair has evolved from brown to gray, so has our bond. This rapport is not unique. Just ask any guy who has a long-term relationship with the person cutting his hair.

CONSTANT CONFIDANTE Jeanne Mar with long-time weekly client, Russell Weil.

Many long-time barbershops continue to thrive in Houston, including Bellaire Original Barber Shop in Bellaire, Avalon Barber Shop in River Oaks, and Times Barber Shop near Rice University. Times has been around since the 1960s. Originally launched in Rice Village, the shop eventually moved to their current location near the intersection of the Southwest Freeway and Shepherd Drive. 

As a long-time local barber, Robert Arellano has been with the iconic Times Barber Shop since 1963, when he moved to Houston from Austin. He pivoted to an ownership role when he purchased Times Barber Shop in 1971. Now, at 80 years old, Robert has no intention of slowing down from the craft he knows and loves. Alongside Robert are his daughter Christina, brother Robert, and grandson Arthur, making Times a true family affair.

One recent Tuesday afternoon, the business was brisk at Times with walk-ins and scheduled appointments. Conversations ensued as each took their place in one of the vibrant red vintage barber chairs. 

Times customer Norman Staub has been coming to Times for his haircuts for over 20 years. Staub shared, “Christina and I talk about everything that I can’t talk about with my wife. Our conversations are sacred, and I know she won’t divulge anything. It’s almost like attorney-client privilege.”

Local urologist and West University resident Dr. Robert Renner has had a long-standing relationship with Times Barber Shop dating back several decades. He shared, “I like to go in, relax, and get my haircut without too much small talk. I think a lot of families in this area have taken their children and maybe even grandchildren there.” Dr. Renner added, “I like Robert – he’s an institution, and there aren’t many institutions left in Houston.”

Thomas Royce III getting his first haircut by Jeanne Mar on his first birthday on Sept. 18, 1984.

Over time, I have witnessed the camaraderie among the generations of men who frequent the barbershop where I am a customer – grandfathers and fathers to sons and grandsons. There is an unspoken brotherhood among us, a place where we have gathered not only for haircuts but for lively conversations, debates, and occasional jests. Jeanne, my barber, shared, “I found an old photo of me holding my customer’s little boy, Thomas Royce III, in my arms. That kid is now a 40-year-old man who still comes in for haircuts. A big burly guy. We had a good laugh when I showed him the photo.” 

Royce, a Bellaire resident, added, “That photo is from my first birthday in 1984. I think I still look the same. I can’t think of a time when Jeanne wasn’t my barber. I can remember coming to her as a little kid with my father, and I was never scared.” 

Royce recalled one recent appointment. “I came in for my haircut appointment earlier this past May while Jeanne was with another customer. As I waited, I decided to call my dad, and when he picked up the phone, I realized he was the customer in Jeanne’s chair. We didn’t know that we had back-to-back haircut appointments.” 

Royce also recalled another story that Jeanne shared about his dad. “He loves to barbecue. Jeanne told me that she can always tell when he has been barbequing because he comes in with singed hair. She knows him well.”

Jeanne and I have shared countless experiences, creating a unique sanctuary within the walls of the barbershop. Our conversations delve into topics both light and heavy, ranging from family anecdotes to heartfelt confessions. I have found solace in sharing joys, sorrows, and aspirations with Jeanne, who listens attentively and offers wise words of advice, providing the kind of ear and guidance that might come from a professional counselor or life coach. 

For example, several years ago, I was offered a new role with a local marketing firm. I brought their offer letter to share with Jeanne. Looking over the document, she suggested that I counter the offer with a more competitive salary request. Heeding this advice to negotiate brought favorable results. The company agreed, and I accepted the offer thanks to her collaboration. Jeanne possesses an incredible skill that goes beyond her mastery of the scissors and comb.

Forty years later, Thomas still gets his hair cut by Jeanne. Recently, Jeanne announced her plans to retire, much to her customers’ disappointment.

Recently, Jeanne announced her plans to retire in the near future. Reality has not yet set in, and I haven’t begun to contemplate the impact of Jeanne hanging up her shears. A sensitive topic of discussion, many of her other long-time clients suggested we picket outside her shop when the time comes. 

Thomas Royce III shared, “I couldn’t even wrap my head around her retiring. All I could focus on was either setting her up in a parking lot somewhere or finding an apprentice to work under her to take over. My dad said he was actually losing sleep over it all.”

In a world where relationships often come and go, barbers stand as a testament to the enduring power of connection. The simple act of my Saturday morning haircut has evolved into something profound – a refuge of understanding, a bastion of trust, and a haven where I can confide in my most cherished secrets. While I will miss the weekly catch-ups and conversations that have been a mainstay for most of my adult life, I am confident our bond will continue to endure.

Do you or someone you know have a long-term relationship with a barber? Share your story with us in the comments section of this story or email [email protected]