Reflections after the Death of 5-year-old Phoebe Jonchuck

Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2015. I stayed up late that evening reading. It was a cold night. As the clock struck midnight and Wednesday turned to Thursday, I checked on my kids, tucked them in a little tighter and climbed into bed. There was so much to do, so many things to think about and so much to be thankful for. 

I remember waking up the next morning excited to get the day started. I got the kids up and breakfast going. I had my first cup of coffee (then another) as I went into and out of conversations about “Disney’s Frozen Legos” (would they ever be made?) and whether or not the movie "Big Hero 6" was for boys, girls or both. These are the concerns of kids ages 6, 5 and 3 and I loved watching them hash out all the important details. 

I turned on the news and made my way back to the kitchen to chime in on the important conversations at hand. As the weather transitioned back to the morning stories, my feet came to a halt: Girl dead after being tossed from Florida bridge… they said.

What? As I listened more, the news became even more gruesome. A 5-year-old girl is dead after being tossed from a Florida bridge by her father.

I looked at my 5-year-old who was eating Lucky Charms and still discussing Legos. 

I felt stuck. Helpless. Nauseous. More news came in… It was a cold, windy night in Florida, the child was thrown 60 feet into the waters of Tampa Bay shortly after midnight. 

While most kids slept nestled in their beds on what really was a cold winter night, 5-year-old Phoebe Jonchuck was being senselessly and horrifically thrown to a lonely, scary and gruesome death by the hands of her father -- hands that little girls love to hold onto, love to dance with, and love to feel protected by…. Hands that are supposed to embrace, comfort and carry… 

As the day went on, I found my thoughts going to Phoebe Jonchuck and then to Cooper Harris, the 22-month-old gorgeous little boy who was allegedly left strapped in his car seat for hours on a hot Georgia day by his father, Ross Harris just a few months ago. While Cooper suffered a slow and painful death, Harris was sexting with under-aged girls from his office. 

I find myself asking why and I realize I’ll never understand. Phoebe and Cooper represent two of many children who have suffered at the hands of their parents. And sadly, there are many more like them. According to FBI homicide data, roughly 450 children are killed each year by their parents. Psychiatrists and criminologists attribute such behavior to a spectrum of things from psychosis or mental illness to a desire to be “childless” to revenge against a spouse or partner.

Whatever the cause, we know that a majority of child victims (75 percent) are under 5 years old with a large majority being 12 months and younger. We also know that almost 50 percent of children who are killed by their parents die from physical beatings or other injuries induced by a parent. 

Families have problems and we need to respect their privacy. That said, where a child’s life or well-being is at risk, we all must come together to intervene. Children do not have a voice, they are powerless and they need protection. There are services like CPS and other agencies who can intervene and safely remove your child from harm’s way. Furthermore, Texas has Safe Haven Laws that allow you to leave a baby up to 60 days old with an employee on duty at any hospital, emergency medical services provider or child welfare agency in Texas – no questions asked. 

You may not know how to properly care for your child but the community has the resources to step in and help you. Ultimately and most importantly, there is never a reason for a child to suffer. Children have dreams and hopes that are meant to be realized. If you feel your own child is at risk or you sense another child in your scope of vision might be at risk, please step up and speak up on their behalf. We have a duty to act. 

See more information on how to handle child abuse and neglect issues here: 

Harris County Protective Services for Children and Adults 
Texas Department of Family and Protective Services’ reporting system  
Texas Department of Family and Protective Services’ resources