Wrapping and Gabbing

A group of moms called Wrappers and Gabbers get together monthly to send their college boys care packages wrapped in boxes decorated to be a little bit embarrassing. (Photo: behance.net/runamokstudios)

So much changes when kids leave for college. I miss my children already, and one hasn’t even hit her stride in middle school.

This is not just about the space kids leave behind. What about the friendships we’ve made with other parents? The ones who we love to be with but don’t necessarily see outside school hallways and extracurricular events?

A group of moms who call themselves Wrappers and Gabbers have handled the dilemma supremely. They get together once a month to “wrap” care packages for their far-away children, creating the perfect chance to “gab” in the process.

“We’d been sitting on the bleachers for four years together, and we knew [when our boys graduated] that we were never going to see each other,” says Vaughan Clark, the group’s ringleader, whose youngest son Anderson is a sophomore at Sewanee. “For some of us, this was our middle or last child, so we did Wrappers and Gabbers so we could stay in touch.”

Eleven moms of 11 former Episcopal High School lacrosse players joined the group. “The boys were pretty close,” says Kristin Wallis, whose son Garrett is a sophomore at Baylor.

“They were a special little group, and all went on their senior trip together to Europe. I knew that once the kids left high school I wasn’t going to see the parents all the time. This is a great way to catch up and find out what the boys are up to. The moms don’t hear. They’re boys, you know.”

Each mom agrees to host a month of Wrappers and Gabbers. As hostesses, they provide 11 12x12x12 boxes, pens, cute paper, stickers – and dinner. “We mostly gab,” Vaughan says.

Upon arrival, the hostess has pre-assembled the empty boxes. Each mom brings 11 of something to pack in the boxes, and they pass around paper so that everyone can send each boy a personal note. “We pop all the stuff in the boxes, then we have dinner and chat and chat and chat,” Vaughan says. “After dinner we quickly wrap everything up, and everyone mails their own box.

“We’ve sent underwear, flashlights, coin purses with laundry money,” she says.

“They mostly like getting the food,” Kristin says. “And so do the roommates.” Edibles included chips and salsa (bubble-wrapped), candy (“a staple,” according to Kristin) and, once, even a red-velvet cupcake in a mason jar (that one got everyone’s attention).

Treats were seasonal, too. “We’d do whatever was the theme of the time,” says Bridget Wade, whose son Will is a sophomore at The University of Oklahoma. “So for Valentine’s we’d send Valentine candy. For finals, we sent notecards for studying and study snacks. For St. Patrick’s Day I found some boxes at Target with clover leaves all over them and got a bunch of those. The Spring Break box was really fun. We did footballs and visors and sunscreen and beach towels.” Kristin says, “They really loved those beach towels.”

The care packages even helped the boys keep up with college football during the season, with the addition of Sports Illustrated magazines.

In true mom fashion, the Wrappers and Gabbers decorated the outsides of the boxes, knowing that most of the boys would have to pick up their packages at a mail room and carry them home to dorm rooms across campus. “We’d use stickers and write stuff all over them like, ‘Go, Will Wade!’ so when they got the box it was this embarrassing thing,” Bridget says. Vaughan says, “It’s just a little bit mortifying.” And Kristin says, “Maybe we shouldn’t have done that, but we did.”

Being boys, the emptied boxes stayed in dorm rooms. But that worked out: Will said the best thing was that he loaded up the boxes with books when it was time to go home in May.

For moms thinking of following the Wrappers and Gabbers lead, Vaughan suggests keeping the count to 12 or less. “It’s kind of tortuous to buy 20 of whatever,” she says. She adds, “I want to be clear that this was not my original idea.” She was asked to join a Wrappers and Gabbers group when her oldest son Lyon was a college freshman. “He’s married now, and that Wrappers and Gabbers group gave him a shower.” They’ve done the same for all the boys getting married. “It’s long-reaching,” she says.

“We’re all in different directions now, but on occasion we’ll get together and just have dinner.” All because their boys brought them together years ago.