Table Talk and Holiday Cheer Entertaining the troops

Here come the holidays, and along with them, all the children and family and visitors. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

And also, there are conflicting opinions. And conversational pitfalls.

Let’s be real: The holiday table is already full, and living room seating is tight. There’s no room for cranky Uncle Bob’s pontifications if we want a happy family time.

Kristin McKenna is a child therapist and registered play therapist in training at The Flourishing Way. She mitigates family conflict every day, and during the holidays, her advice is to keep it light – and keep everyone entertained.

“You can initiate discussions that set you up for success and keep you away from conversations that might veer into conflict,” Kristin says. She suggests having some questions at the ready to initiate and encourage lively table talk. Because we all know How is school isn’t going to cut it, and What did you think of the news last night is even worse.

“Instead,” Kristin says, “you might ask a question like What was the best part of your day?” which not only prompts a thoughtful answer but also keeps things focused on the positive.

“What’s the sunny, what’s the cloudy, and what’s the rainbow – meaning What’s good, what’s not so good, and what are you looking forward to – is also a good one,” she says. “I have lots of iterations of that one.” Think score, foul, trophy, or rose, thorn, bud. “We always end it on what you’re looking forward to.”

Her strategy fits right in with Thanksgiving, prompting everyone to think about ways they are grateful. A few more table-talk starters:

If you were going on an eight-hour road trip, who would you take with you?

If you had a store, what would you sell in it?

If you were on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” and you got to the “phone a friend” stage, who are the five people you would call? 

Name three podcasts you think are awesome.

What musical event or concert, past or present, would you most want to attend?

While much of our holiday weekend might be spent sitting together around a table, we can’t be eating all the time (sigh). Thankfully, cozy movie season is upon us, and there are more classic fall-slash-holiday movies than we can watch. A few for your list:

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving 

You might think It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is the Peanuts’ big fall gem of a movie, but the lesser-known A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973) brings all the gratitude as the whole gang gathers at Charlie’s house for the holiday. Don’t get too excited: we still don’t get a glimpse of any Peanuts’ parents. 

Dead Poets Society 

John Keating (Robin Williams) is a free-thinking English teacher at an ultra-traditional boys’ boarding school. Filmed at St. Andrew’s School in Delaware, depicting a fictional boys’ school in Vermont, the colorful, leafy fall scenery in Dead Poets Society (1989) is what we need to watch to get our fall feels going. Don’t forget the (Walt Whitman poem) “O Captain! My Captain!” scene.

Moonstruck

Remember this 1987 romantic (sort of) comedy, where Loretta (Cher) falls for her fiancée’s younger brother Ronny (Nicolas Cage)? It’s a classic, and it’s set in Brooklyn in November.

The Holiday 

Truth be told, this is a year-round favorite even though it’s set smack-dab in the holiday season. The Nancy Meyers set is eye candy as a heartbroken Londoner and an equally distraught Angeleno swap houses for Christmas, sight unseen. Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black, and Jude Law are all sparkly charm in this 2006 film.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Funny, wacky, and ultimately full of heart, Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) hits all the notes of a perfect family fall movie. Strangers Neal Page (Steve Martin) and Del Griffith (John Candy) are sharing a trip home for the holidays, thanks to a flight-derailing blizzard. There’s a reason this is a Thanksgiving classic.

You’ve Got Mail

The classic fall-in-New York movie that we never tire of watching. Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) and Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) connect in an internet chatroom and fall in love through their AOL email accounts (can you believe this was just 1998?), only to go to battle as the owners of a small, independent bookstore and a goliath bookstore chain. I still want The Shop Around the Corner to be real.

And we can’t forget: Home Alone, Miracle on 34th Street (both the 1947 and 1994 versions), National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989), and The Sound of Music (1965). 

We are armed and ready. Onward into the most wonderful time of the year!