Mother’s Day Spotlight: Beth Stephan

Beth Stephan has inspired others with her can-do outlook on life during her treatment and recovery from breast cancer. (Photo: lawellphoto.com)

While tagging along with some friends looking at a house for sale, Beth Stephan, a conservatively dressed mother of four, unbuttoned her blouse to show off her new breasts.

“I’m sure the realtor thought that was the weirdest showing,” said Beth, laughing.

The breasts she was proud of had been reconstructed using stomach tissue during a bilateral mastectomy.

At 38, Beth discovered a lump in her breast just three months after a normal mammogram in August 2007. She and her husband Bob had four young kids  – the youngest, Thomas, just 2 at the time. She had no family history or signs of risk. She learned she had Stage 3 breast cancer.

“I kind of had a panic attack for two weeks,” said Beth. “But then I calmed down and just took it one day at a time.”

Seven years later, and in remission, Beth is still calm when she discusses her experience as a young mom with cancer. Her bright green eyes pop against her brown hair, and a Southern accent rolls off her tongue like molasses.

Her friends and husband call her independent and resourceful, with a dry wit and can-do, caring attitude. When they found out The Buzz wanted to profile her, they were quick to share stories.

Tracy Barkley-Ackley said when she unexpectedly lost her husband years ago, Beth “was with me every step of the way. We went through it and planned the funeral together.

“She is not materialistic. She doesn’t care about jewelry. She is not trying to impress the ladies at the country club.”

“Beth can find humor and the silver lining in most all of life,” said childhood friend Jady Regard. “I have to believe it has been that attribute that has gotten her through some pretty rotten times.”

Beth says she is willing to talk about those times and the good times in the hope the tale helps someone else.

She recalls going “back home to Louisiana” for Easter after her mastectomy surgery. “I was showing my brother-in-law [my reconstruction]. We have a joke now in our family you can only show body parts that have been operated on,” she said.

The Stephan family Christmas card that year showed a bald Beth, along with Bob and kids Erin, Robert, Annie, and Thomas (now 16, 15, 12 and 9), wearing costume wigs. It read “Have a very hairy Christmas. ‘Wigs’ you were here.”

“It was typical Beth. I was very pleased with the overwhelming response of well wishes,” said Bob.

Humor and matter-of-factness are important tools when you are sick, Beth says.

“I wore a baseball cap around [during my treatment] that said ‘no hair day’ rather than ‘bad hair day.’ Wigs were hot and uncomfortable,” she said.

The Stephan family – mom Beth, dad Bob and (from left) kids Robert, Thomas, Annie and Erin – sported costume wigs for their 2007 family Christmas card while Beth was undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

A few years back she started Beth’s Gift Closet, a small gift-store business, to raise money to send her kids to their beloved Camp Highlander in North Carolina.

“She is single-minded when she takes on a project,” says Bob. “It could be kids, church, school, family, or summer camp. She’s always fully committed.”

“The saying ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’ describes Beth to a T,” said Kathy Hrueske, with whom Beth taught special education at Frostwood Elementary in the 1990s.

“Determination has put Beth in situations ranging from strapping a ping pong table to the top of her Suburban to taking classes on how to be a gold buyer.”

Longtime friend Sulyn Dillon says Beth takes care of other kids too. “I remember both being so pregnant one time at the McDonald’s play land, and a couple of our kids were stuck in the top tunnel and scared to move. If memory serves, we managed to talk Beth’s child down, but she waddled over and crawled up in the tunnels, with her calm, matter-of-fact way and managed to coax my child down too.”

Beth’s neighbors are quick to pile on the praise as well. When April Metz moved in nine years ago, she found a cooler on her doorstep with sandwiches, sodas, Coors Light and a note from Beth with her children’s names, ages and the Stephans’ phone number.

While Beth will never forget the darker days of her cancer diagnosis and treatment, she wants to send good vibes to other women facing the same situation, encouraging them to hang on, and, when they get the chance, flash their new breasts too.