Pink or blue? John or Sue?

Krysten and Andrew Funk decided not to find out the genders of their two children, Mary Frances and John Lawrence. (Photo: Maca Ferguson with Studio Ainsley Photography)

Buzz Baby is a column about life with babies from the perspective of a first-time mother. If you have baby stories to share, leave a comment under this article or email [email protected].

One expectant Buzz couple got exactly the opposite of what they planned for. They were told at an early ultrasound appointment that “there were no boy parts.”

So they named their in utero little one Zoe. Friends threw a pink-themed baby shower, and they set up a pink nursery. Months later, baby Zoe arrived. Or so they thought.

“Your Zoe has a penis,” they heard their doctor announce. 

At the big gender-reveal ultrasound, prospective moms and dads are on pins and needles. Take that anticipation and multiply it to bursting status when they choose to wait until birth to find out the gender.

That’s what Krysten Funk and her husband Andrew decided to do. After several unsuccessful years, they tried in vitro fertilization. It worked. For them, it was an easy decision not to find out the baby’s gender.

“It was the one last surprise I wanted. I never had an ultrasound where I wanted to know. It was just so exciting,” said Krysten. “But it drove people crazy.”

During the pregnancy, she said, “I had convinced myself I was having a boy.” She was wrong. Her husband Andrew, an owner of an IT-staffing business, announced a healthy baby girl had arrived.

Picking a name can be tricky when you don’t know the gender, but not for the Funks, who named their new baby girl Mary Frances, after Krysten’s late mother. “She passed away when I was 6 years old,” said Krysten. “I knew since high school I wanted to use her name.”

Using family names can be tricky if you have siblings potentially wanting to use them first. Krysten has three sisters. “I had said years ago, ‘OK, don’t you guys use it.’ Luckily, it never came to be an issue,” said Krysten.

Two years later, the couple did another round of IVF, and Krysten became pregnant again. They didn’t find out the gender, again. Their second child arrived, and once Krysten’s water broke, they didn’t have to wait long to find out if it was snips and snails and puppy dog tails or sugar and spice and … however that rhyme goes. 

Her labor progressed so quickly there was not even time for an epidural. In just minutes, Krysten and Andrew welcomed a boy, John Lawrence, named after Andrew’s late father.

Parents Bekah and Casey Gorder waited until birth to find out the genders of their two boys, baby David and big brother William Gorder. Bekah is the youngest of her siblings, who were also surprised on the genders of their combined 19 kids.

For mom-of-two Bekah Hotze Gorder and her husband, Casey, an investment banker, you could say it runs in the family to be surprised on the gender. Bekah is the youngest of seven, all of whom are married and have a combined total of 19 kids (12 girls and 7 boys).  All the genders have been a surprise.

“The pressure was on to not find out,” said Bekah, laughing. And as for names? “That was the hardest part. We like using family names. They were kind of taken.”

For their first, they chose William, after Casey’s father, who lives in San Antonio. Their second baby arrived last August, and the couple decided to give him a special family name, David, after Bekah’s late brother.

Melissa Treadway and her husband Jeff, an energy banker, are expecting their third child this spring. They have Connor, 5, and Avery, 2. Melissa says not finding out the gender is exciting for everyone, not just mom and dad.

“We all have those friends who know the name and gender in advance, and when they’re born it’s like, ‘Oh good, Sam is here,’” said Melissa. “With my friends and family that didn’t find out, I was so engaged throughout the pregnancy and could not wait for the big reveal.”

Melissa says there’s a hidden perk. “A benefit was getting all the necessities at my showers instead of just clothes. I love getting to buy the clothes. I’d rather get a monitor from a baby shower.”

And, as for this new momma? I can’t say I disagree with these Buzz moms. We, too, opted out of finding out the genders of our twins.

People analyzed my belly and performed the “necklace test” on me, dangling a pendant over my baby bump. Legend has it, if the pendant swings side to side like a pendulum, you’re having a boy. If it makes a circle, you’re having a girl.

Turns out, I was having a boy – and a girl.