Enjoyable Sex At Any Age

Physical intimacy can be alive and well no matter how “old” you are. One of the most common complaints we see from patients in The Menopause Center is “I have no sex drive.” Not only can loss of libido (the technical term for desire) cause tension in a relationship, most women want to continue having a good sex life as they age.

Although a woman’s sex drive may not be what it was in her twenties and spontaneous desire may have decreased from every few days to every few weeks or longer, it is still possible to have enjoyable, even extraordinary sex. It just takes a little more effort and intention than was needed in the past.

It is common for males to have decreased desire and more difficulty with erections as they age, but there are drugs available that make a significant difference in a man’s ability to have satisfactory sex. Medications like Viagra and Cialis have changed the sexual experience for older men. Currently there is no pill that can improve sexual desire and enjoyment in women, although drug companies are in a race to develop one.

Sexual satisfaction for women is much more complicated than a simple increase in blood flow to the genitals. Much of a female’s desire is a combination of physical and psychological factors, including a sense of emotional intimacy, safety and novelty.  While men stereotypically are aroused by visual stimuli, women more commonly are aroused by romance and fantasy.

As women age, they often need to be intentional about becoming aroused. Books like Fifty Shades of Gray have tapped into a woman’s need for fantasy as a major sexual stimulus. There are numerous erotic stories now available for a woman to download on the privacy of her e-reader. Erotic films are now being made by women for women that are less about close-ups of genitals and more about couples in a sexual relationship. Many women find reading or watching movies can be a helpful aid in jump-starting desire for their partner. Scheduling sex, although it doesn’t sound romantic, can be an important tool in ensuring physical intimacy is still a priority. Leaving home on occasion and getting away from the bills and the chores is very sexy!

There is nothing wrong with needing help to have an active and enjoyable sex life.  Giving up physical intimacy does not need to be a natural and expected consequence of aging for women.

For more information about Texas Children’s Hospital Pavilion for Women’s Menopause Center, visit here.