Sunday Mornings with Rania: Keeping Teens Safe on Social Media

Rania Mankarious is executive director of Crime Stoppers of Houston. (Photo: lawellphoto.com)

Voxer? Yik Yak? Kik?

If you’re in a normal home, your teen (or tween, YIKES!) knows more about social media than you do. You know it. They know it. And that’s dangerous.

But here’s the deal. Social media can be a wonderful tool for kids to connect with others. It is also the “tool of choice” for child predators and human traffickers. So what do we do? For the longest time, the advice was simply to “friend your kids on Facebook” so you can monitor them and hopefully get them to “act appropriately.” That worked for about five seconds.

While Facebook still remains the top social media site among U.S. teens, it’s now just a mere placeholder. Our kids are using other social media platforms to really engage with others, sites mom and dad are not on.

With that in mind, parents, sit down, grab a pen and let’s learn what we can. Here’s a run-down of 6 popular social media apps that our kids are using and everything you need to know about them.

1. Voxer. This app allows you to talk, send live or recorded text messages and photos instantly. These photos can go to one person or an entire group of people with a simple click. Voxer operates on any network, anywhere in the world and on any cellular or wifi network. It’s easy to use and easy to use privately. Additionally, you can be talking to people across the globe or sending photos without anyone ever noticing a thing on a data plan or cell phone bill. Parents, beware.
2. Yik Yak. Not only is the name horrible but so are the intentions behind this app. The creators call this all the “anonymous social wall for everything and anything.” How great for our vulnerable children! Here’s the problem, users are anonymous in that when you register, you don’t need to put any personal information (other than your location). Posts are called “Yaks” and show up in a live feed for others. The problem is these posts show up in “Yakers” who are in the same area…. While the app is rated for people 17+ and targets college students, younger users are loving the secrecy and usability of the app. Many find Yik Yak as a great tool for bullying and humiliating others. This social media tool was also the app of choice used by users in 40 incidents in which the student promises a mass murder attack against their school campus. Yik Yak, in a nutshell, offers nothing positive for its users and is an entry into trouble.
3. Ask.fm. Popular in Europe, this app is spreading like wildfire in the US. It’s rated 13+ and offers its users the chance to interact in a question-and-answer format with friends, peers and anonymous users all over the globe. The problem with Ask.fm is that it’s not a monitored side and loosely regulated. That makes for a great cyberbullying platform – and that’s just what Ask.fm has become known for. With 65 million users, it can become an overwhelming space for young kids not mature enough to engage in anonymous conversation. It proved to be too much for one 12-year old girl in Florida who took her life thanks to the relentless bullying she endured by other Ask.fm users (the death of 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick of Florida).   
4. Kik. If you ask kids anywhere, they know of and probably are already using Kik. You know who else is? Every single child predator across the globe. Kik is, by far, the worst app and most dangerous for our children. Profile photos attach with every correspondence making users feel like they are engaging in "face-to-face feel" conversations rather than regular texting. While “kiking it” you can quickly text photos, sketches or even send pre-designed greeting cards to individuals or groups. While rated ages 17+, there is no age verification requirement anywhere so kids of all ages, and many (MANY) tweens, call Kik an app of choice. Why do predators like it so much? Because it allows your child, at any age, to directly connect via instant message using just a username (meaning you don’t need to know someone well enough to have their phone number to start reaching out). If you see username “Sally2005” and want to reach out to Sally, who is probably 11 years old, you simply need to click on her username and start talking. Even reviews in the App Store or Google Play offer disclaimers on Kik, calling it a place where strangers meet for sexting. In addition to being housed overseas, there is almost no regulation over the Kik app; once a photo is shared, it is in the hand of who knows and parents have no means to take action. And finally, in addition to be on many parents’ lists of the “worst” app Kik also introduces children to sexually explicit drawings and images as well as games and conversations. If there is only one app to remove from your child’s phone, it’s Kik. Please remove it today!
5. Vine. A Twitter mobile app, Vine allows users to shoot and share short (6 seconds or less) loops of video. It's rated 17+, but again, tweens and young teens across the states use it as a regular tool to share photos. The biggest problem with Vine? It’s become the place to send sexually inappropriate content. Actually, Common Sense Media’s review of the app says: "With the most basic creative searching, kids can find nudity, sex, drug use, offensive language, hardcore sexuality, and more" Common Sense Media says in its review of the app. "While there are plenty of cute, fun videos, even adults might be shocked at some of the things they find." Some parents feel that they’re okay with their kids using Vine as long as the videos they post are appropriate. My problem is that those who flock to Vine are often looking for suggestive content and will try to prey it out of even those who had no intention of using the app for that purpose. Why even put our kids in that situation? Note, parent often confuse Vine with Snapchat. Snapchat allows users to send photos and videos that disappear from view within 10 seconds of being received. Rated ages 12+, kids send racy photos thinking that their “self-destruction” keeps them safe. What kids need to realize is that all these images live forever on Snapchat’s server, can always be leaked and always be screenshot by the person on the receiving end.
6. And it gets worse. Justin Bieber has invested in this 12+ “selfie-only” photo-sharing app that will be heavily targeting your kids and mine. “Shots of Me.” This app does not allow for public comments but rather has a direct-messaging feature where users can send private messages to each other. Beware, the app shows the user’s location and how long ago the photo was taken unless you deliberately disable those features from the app’s settings. Problem here is that it’s one of many “selfie-driven” apps that is launching and finding creative ways to entice kids to take photos of themselves and share them with whoever is willing to engage.

If you’ve looked at your child’s phone and found any of these apps, I’d challenge you to sit down and find out which ones they like, use and in what manner they use it. Even if the answers are innocent, for their safety - and certainly this is a decision you make based on their age and maturity - I’d still choose to delete the apps. But, of course, remember, kids are desperate to engage online. A 2013 Pew Research Center survey showed that almost half of all teens online will lie about their age to gain access to social media sites. You can’t monitor every site or your child’s every move but you can reach them through constant communication, being brutally honest about the dangers and why their safety is your top concern.

Don’t take this topic lightly. Please. We have read far too many stories, spoken to far too many kids whose lives have forever been changed because they were not equipped to handle the pressures, tricks and traps of the online world. Don’t let your child be one of them.

For more information on Crime Stoppers of Houston, go to crime-stoppers.org and follow Crime Stoppers on Facebook. Have topics in mind that you’d like Rania to write about? Email her directly at [email protected]. Read past Sundays with Rania posts here.

Editor's Note: Views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of The Buzz Magazines.