We are Here

(From left) Joni Hoffman, Sherry Ellingson, Marybeth Nelson, and Martha McNamara

The morning after I returned from visiting my son at Arizona State University last weekend, I was getting ready for work and watching The Today Show. Alicia Keys spoke about her new song “We are Here.” She talked about asking ourselves the question “Why are we here?”

She explained we all have a voice but to think about how will it be used. She then encouraged others to reflect #Iamhere because ____ and fill in the blank.

This college visit was different. I did the usual “mom in town” shopping gig but there was also another reason for the trip. My son’s dear friend and fraternity brother Brandon Ellingson tragically died earlier this summer.

One of Matt’s brothers arranged for a few moms to take Brandon’s mom Sherry to lunch. I must admit I was nervous about seeing her. We had only met at parents’ weekend last fall. What do you say to someone you hardly know but has gone through the biggest fear parents have: losing a child?

There were three moms and our sons at the lunch and Sherry. I wondered how Sherry would feel about us having our boys with us and thought maybe it would be better to not include the boys. I called my friend who happens to be a grievance counselor. She gave me the advice to just follow her lead. She will let you know how open she wants to be and what to talk about.

The advice was perfect. Sherry finds it comforting to be around the boys, who were all extremely close to her son. Sherry was not only beautiful but incredibly strong. She is focusing on getting the message out about what happened to her son and now has a federal case pending.

Brandon Ellingson, a 20 year-old ASU student, died while in custody of the Missouri State Water Patrol May 31 on the Lake of the Ozarks. Brandon maintained a 4.2 GPA in college, and was a straight-A student in high school and captain of the football team and prom king. Yes, he was doing what many college-aged kids do and was drinking underage, but he never deserved to die. The Ellingson family was disappointed in the jury’s determination that Brandon’s death by drowning while handcuffed and in custody of Missouri State Highway Patrolman Anthony Piercy was accidental.

So where does Alicia Keys fit into this story? It brought me back to reflect on why am I here? I am fortunate to be in the crazy media business I love with my husband and partner. What else? Because of what I do and who I am (meaning my personality type), my strength is my people skills and relationship-building. I have been told I have really good intuition. So I was asking myself: why was I in Arizona to meet with Sherry? What did it mean and how can I really help her besides comforting hugs?

Well, it came to me this morning after hearing Alicia Keys’ incredible song. I know people who know people. So my goal is to help Sherry create the best legal team and consultants and spread the word among my contacts to get some national attention to Brandon’s story. This is not about money. She is not a charity case, in fact, far from it. This is about justice. Please see #justiceforbrandonellingson for the latest news and to share your comments about the incident and pending case. Here’s one story that provides helpful details.

And please fill in the blank in the comments section below: I am here because ___________________.