Family Reunions: Getting Away to Get Together

Carolyn and John Johnson, hosts of a 124-kin family reunion at the Mayan Ranch in Bandera, sporting their reunion T-shirts, take a photo break around the old oak tree with their family, (from left) Jana, Cole, Michael and Lily Johnson, Renea and Morgan Menzies and Robert Moore.

Carolyn Johnson ought to get the prize for best in-law ever. When she married her husband John 11 years ago, she entered a whole new world: the world of the large family. John is one of nine children, and his mother was one of nine as well, each with families of their own, some quite numerous.

“I can’t imagine having that many brothers and sisters; I only have one, and he has to be the be-all and end-all,” she says with a laugh. “I said, ‘How in the world am I ever going to meet them all?’”

Since their grandparents had died a while back, no one took it upon themselves to organize a gathering, so the family just never got together anymore.

“I opened my fat mouth and said, ‘We ought to have a family reunion’ – and now I’m in charge.”

This May she just organized her third reunion – 124 strong.

Bonnie Bibeau was luckier. Her husband Brian’s family has had a tradition already in place for several generations; all she had to do was make a covered dish and start getting to know folks.

Brian’s paternal grandmother was one of 10 children, and as they grew up and started having children of their own, they realized they’d need to be organized to keep the family together. That’s when they began gathering in Houston; by the late ‘60s, they had begun renting out a space at a rustic ranch-style resort near Wimberley over Labor Day weekend. Now the family has grown so big they just take over the whole resort.

“My father in law has pictures of reunions from when he was a little boy,” Bonnie says. “It kept the family tight, and as the family has grown, everyone’s welcome. Now I’m one of the crew, and our kids get to enjoy it, too.”

Whether your family is big or small, summertime can be a good time to get away from it all and catch up, cementing the familial bonds and connecting with nature. And it doesn’t have to cost a fortune; the Texas Hill Country is full of options. The important thing is to do it.

The Johnsons chose as their rendezvous point the so-called Cowboy Capital of the World, Bandera, Texas, where the family-run Mayan Dude Ranch provided all the requisite ingredients for those who wished to explore their inner cowboy: 348 acres of woods and fields and trails traversed by the Medina River, a whole herd of horses and the ranch hands to guide you on them, down-home cooking and a whole lot more.

The Johnson-Kelly clan would start their day with a trail ride to a cowboy breakfast – those who were so inclined, that is, as others opted to sleep in and have breakfast in the lodge. Visiting, hiking, fishing, swimming in the pool or playing in spring-fed waters would ensue until lunch, which would be served poolside in the covered pavilion. Another trail ride was available each afternoon and a hayride to a cookout at Hicksville, an old western town replica for the kids. Evening entertainment ranged from a petting zoo of exotic animals like a porcupine and a lemur, a piñata full of candy for the kids and two-stepping lessons with a DJ spinning favorite country tunes.

“One day a guy comes in with a humongous longhorn, and you can sit in the saddle and have your picture taken on it,” Carolyn recalled.

“I tell people, ‘You can do any of this or all of it – or you can stay in your cabin the whole time. The only thing you have to do is be here on Saturday at 10:30 a.m. for the group photo – in your T-shirt.’” She had commemorative T-shirts printed up, and when each of the guests arrived, they got a goody bag with the shirt, cap, name tag and a little gift. This year, it was a limestone picture frame and a Texas-shaped cookie.

The Bibeaus take their team sports seriously. Brian tosses an iron in the horseshoe tournament, with the pioneer blacksmith shop in the background.

About 50 years ago, the Bibeau clan chose as its gathering place the historic 7A Resort, on the Blanco River in Wimberley, and some years it’s drawn up to 100 people. Brian’s father Wayne remembers when the family moved its gatherings to the resort.

“He remembers it was like a dream: horseback riding, forts, creeks, pools and Pioneer Town,” said Bonnie.

When his children were little, he loved playing with them where he used to play, “even managing to catch a nice bass right out of the river and popping it on the grill to share with the whole family. Now, he’s overjoyed to watch his grandkids start the magical world of discoveries of this resort at each family reunion.”

The family-run resort is home to Pioneer Town, which features an old confectionary, a little post office, an opera house with a theater that shows old movies, and a master storyteller. Back when Wayne was a kid, each section had authentic demonstrations by blacksmiths, postal workers and other workers. “In essence, it was a ‘working’ town,” said Bonnie. Time has settled it to a few working venues and opened the rest to museum spots.

Brian’s uncle Scott Bibeau runs a restaurant in Corpus Christi, and he packs up all his barbecue equipment and takes it along. Everyone provides covered dishes – most of them from recipes passed down through the family – and Uncle Scott provides the barbecue. “And it’s one non stop buffet,” said Bonnie.

The family organizes its own activities, and it can get pretty competitive – each year there’s a golf tournament, and they form teams and vie for biannual bragging rights. This is followed by a horseshoe tournament. For those who’d rather do other things, there are options; cooks gather in the lodge, river wanderers explore the Blanco, and the kids play ping pong and arcade games.

Intergenerational activities are the norm; her girls, at ages 1, 2½ and 4, find plenty of ways to be engaged, as do the elementary school kids and the teens.

The Bibeaus are a musical family, some of whom play semi-professionally, and so toward the end everyone gathers with their instruments, occasionally including the spoons or bones, and they put on a little participatory concert. There’s an intermission with an awards ceremony for the competitive events.

“It’s a really good place to let everyone be themselves and then come together,” Bonnie says.

Organizing a family reunion

Perhaps the biggest question, if you are thinking of organizing a big family gathering, is how to go about it. Carolyn Johnson started from scratch, and being a former banker, she knows how to get things done in the most efficient way possible. She shared her methodology with us.

• If your family is large, use a spreadsheet to manage the information – spreadsheets are an excellent tool for managing constantly changing information on a variety of people. “The first year I just put their name on; then I would put the sister they were descended from. Then I color-coded it and made name tags of that color – for example, Lillian is my husband’s mom, and all the Lillian family is blue – so you can see from a distance, if their name tag is blue, they’re part of your immediate family.”
• Choose a place with a variety of lodging options, with rooms for families, couples, singles and elders.
• Choose a place where the kids can roam at will without worrying about them getting hurt. “We have 32 people under 18 years old – and lot of them are little kids,” she said. “It’s funny to see them like little chickens running together and playing – and it’s very safe so parents don’t have to be micromanaging.”
• Put on your gumshoe hat. Carolyn discovered one time that the only descendant of one of the eight sisters who had attended the first reunion had passed away. The only thing she knew about her was that she was from Smithville. “I called the Smithville City Hall and asked for any relatives of Joyce Vinklarek, who had passed away. They said, ‘Oh, you mean Ronnie and Bobby? Which one do you want?’”
• Don’t do it too often, or people will burn out, especially the organizer. Carolyn organizes the Johnson-Kelly reunion once every three years. “People really want to come because they know it will be three years before there’s another one,” she commented.
• If it’s a two-day reunion, make sure not to over-plan the activities so folks have free time to hang out in smaller groups or simply get away for a while.
• Share the spreadsheet or contact list with all attendees so they can stay in touch between reunions. Also, follow up with the families to hear how the reunion has affected their lives. Particularly for families that have not been getting together for a long time, it can be a meaningful time for re-connection. “We had cousins in their 20s who never knew each other,” she said. “They’ve become really close now; one cousin was a groomsman in the other’s wedding.”

Where to have your family reunion

Here’s a nice piece from Better Homes and Gardens

Reunions Magazine

USA Today

Gathered Again, a website just for helping people plan family reunions

This was written a long time ago but is a good article